16 So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ,the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:16-17
A friend of mine had a father in jail and was truly bitter about being abandoned as a child. Yes, he did have a mother but don't we all wish for both a mother and a father?And one day he tells me that he hasn't seen his dad in over 20 years and now he has his own children..but the thing is, his own father doesn't even know he is a grandfather. And as tears ran down his face, I asked why he was crying. He said he didn't know.
I wondered. Were the tears because of wasting so many years resenting his father? Were the tears because he never told his dad about his own children? Were his tears because his own children didn't have a personal relationship either with their grandfather. Was he thinking about how his dad didn't teach him how to throw a football or shave or how to be a dad. I could only speculate what the tears meant but it wasn't my place to preach, or tell him what to do, or any of that. All I knew was to pray.
And so pray I did. But then as life goes on I forgot about it. A few years later I ran into my friend and he told me that he was working on restoring his relationship with his father. I was overjoyed!!! Out of the blue offered up the reason he had tears (apparently he remembered). He was sad because of all the things I quietly had guessed.
I can't say that I would have had different reactions or feeling as my friend. When we are young and so impressionable, we yearn for the approval of our parents. But if our parents are not present for whatever reason, we harbor resentment and start looking for that approval elsewhere (which is what he did sadly to say). But he got himself clean and worked to restore that needed family lifeline.
It's so hard to offer forgiveness to those who have hurt us. It's even harder I think when that person is our mom or dad - the very people who should be taking care of us. But, we do have a Father - our Father in heaven who died for us so that our own sins would be forgiven and we have been made new. So, don't we owe that to others too?
I'm not saying forgiveness is easy..goodness knows I can attest to that. But I can say I wasted so much time with my own hurts, that looking back, I know I wasted precious years - time I can't get back. I thought I was protecting myself from further hurts - and I thought harboring those feeling of resentment would make me feel better. It took a lot of courage to admit I was wrong and not only offer forgiveness but ask for it as well. Don't waste another moment. Begin a journey of healing today!
