Daily Devotions for those in Recovery for an Addiction.
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Saturday, January 14, 2017
I Hear Voices In My Head
Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget the former things;do not dwell on the past.See, I am doing a new thing!Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?I am making a way in the desertand streams in the wasteland.”
The voices in our head that we hear can be so exhausting and draining and not always telling us the truth or what we need to hear.
"we don’t have to be diagnosed with schizophrenia to know that we deal with a barrage of nasty voices that spread us too thin. Things we literally make up, conclusions we jump to, and fantasy "showdowns" we have to set the record straight. I know you know what I’m talking about: the articulate positioning, perfect timing , and final zinger you "share" with that person who harmed you; the venting that happens over and over again- but only in your head."
Come on, we all do it. I can think of many a nights I couldn’t fall asleep because (in my head) I was trying to get someone to see things my way…tossing and turning…to finally drift off just hours before I needed to get up..to hop in the shower to have those voices return..ding..round 2!
Even when I know I’m dead right and that person is wrong I can spend so much mental energy on this. It’s so draining.
"Spending so much time dwelling on hurts, wrongs, and misfortunes is a waste of time. How many hours each week do we squander, pondering how we’ve been wronged and how we should defend our honor? Consider the outcome if we took that time and did something useful with it. Like maybe read a book, call someone who makes us laugh, listen to upbeat music, or better yet- pray. Imagine the positive energy we would gain by putting a stop to more negative thinking."
Yup, she’s right. I want that peace but yet I allow myself to get sucked in to harmful, self-destructive way of thinking. And I can say from experience, even when I have had a chance to deliver my well rehearsed zinger, it did not resolve things and left me with a new round of inward negative thinking.
For those in recovery from an addiction this is where working the 12 steps is so helpful. As you move through identifying your own faults and then those who hurt you, it releases these thoughts in your mind. You develop healthy ways of dealing with situations/people in which you were wronged..but now you have skills to deal with it. At least I have. And these are healthy skills…not the addiction self-soothing skills. I truly believe that there is healing in working the traditional 12 steps or the Celebrate Recovery steps.
As the author concludes “it’s not easy, and it typically requires me to be conscious of my thoughts and diligent of my actions. But the effort is worth it.”