Showing posts with label planning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label planning. Show all posts

Monday, November 20, 2017

What's Your Plan When Your Triggers Happen?

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


Jeremiah 29:11 is one of my favorite verses because it reminds me that God really does have amazing plans for me and that I need to let go of my agendas and submit to his.

BUT, this does not mean that there should be no planning going on in our lives. This verse refers to long term - where the direction of your life is going. When in recovery from an addiction, habit, hurt or hang-up, you must plan because part of recovery is identifying your triggers. And that's great - but then what?

We must then figure out what we will do when trigger occurs - and that takes planning! If we continue to do what we have always done then we get the same results. If we say "God will handle it now that I've admitted to him I'm a sinner" then we are being foolish.  God wants us to make our own choices not because he makes us or says so - but because he wants a relationship with us. And by making the right choices on our own we are declaring that we have let the old ways past and desire a new life.

So what do we do to combat our triggers? I can't tell you that because everyone's lives and circumstances are different.

Perhaps think about the yellow lights in the recoveryBox app and how they connect to triggers.

Yellow lights are based on being with a person who can lead us to acting out, a place that can lead us to acting out or a thing that can lead to acting out.

For example, if you know that going to a mall will tempt you to overspend, then don't go there. Perhaps in the past you would go to the mall when you got stressed out at work. The trigger of stress in our lives won't go away - so substitute where you will go when you feel that stress. Instead of the mall, perhaps go work out or go for a walk. Change the routine. Make a plan to handle the trigger of stress.

It's Friday night and you feel so alone at your apartment by yourself. In the past you would turn on the computer and start surfing for porn. What can you do? We aren't meant to be alone in life (which is why God created Eve for Adam). Find something to do in place of the computer to combat the isolation. Enroll in a cooking class or find a group that meets that has similar hobby interests to yours.

Planning is not something that we evaluate once and then say - OK, I'm good. This is what I'll do. No, planning to change what we do when we face triggers is a life long exercise that must be evaluated for it's effectiveness. And that's where your sponsor or accountability partner can help.

Recovery from an addiction is not easy - but with some planning and support we can succeed.


Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Planning Our Days

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9

Now this is a good one. I am a planner. I'm getting better at trying to go by the seat of my pants but I used to try and plan for every situation. Then reality struck and my world came crashing down and I realized I was so not in control. Because that is what planning is right? A form of being in control.

And I learned that the more I planned the more I was trying to control a situation that was well, out of my control. Sometimes we need to step back and check our motives for planning so much.
  • Are we planning because we want to prevent failure?
  • Prevent getting hurt?
  • Do we plan because we want to achieve something? 
  • Or maybe because we feel we have to?
The more we plan and see that life doesn't always work out that way the more we should be seeing the signs that "hey, I'm not in control"!

God really is the creator and the ultimate planner. We can decide that we want to do something but let God work out the details. I don't mean say "Let's go to the beach" and then sit down and think your towels and swimsuits and lotion will fly into the car for you. I mean don't plan on every little detail working out just right.

For someone having an addiction, one step is to make amends to those who you hurt or you hurt. Yes, it's OK to plan to talk with them and have planned out what you need to say. But don't try to anticipate their reaction or comments back and then plan on how you will react. That's ridiculous. We all need to learn to cope with life. And life is really a journey with twists and turns and stops unknown until we reach our final destination -  heaven.

Have a great day and - to use a familiar phrase "Don't sweat the small stuff."




Wednesday, May 31, 2017

How Do I Plan?

So that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power. I Corinthians 2:5

Have you ever experienced the disappointment of carefully made plans? You really think that you thought through every situation only to find out that "it" just didn't end up the way you thought it would (or should).

Many of us just quit. It's so much easier to throw our hands up and say "I'm done! I tried!" and then not want to take on any more risks.  As an addict, or someone with a bad habit this is just not an option unless we want to return to our old habits or ways that were literally killing us.

We have a wonderful life and God has plans for us to prosper us (Jeremiah 29:11). And that's the ticket. If we trust Him, and believe in Him, why do we feel so depressed that our plans failed? It's because we are relying on plans and not God's plans. We need to be patient as perhaps God's plans are going to move slower than we want them to. And we need to be listening. Sometimes God's plans are not the same as our plans.

Let God be in control and rest in that peace. Until then do some practical things to deal with your disappointment. Some ideas include praying to God and asking for discernment. Ask Him to help you figure out if indeed your plan is God's plan. Surround yourself with those who can encourage you during disappointing times (and be careful because many folks will take the "I told you so approach"), read scripture to find peace for the disappointments.  Take a break from the "plans". Do some physical exercise.

But no matter the approach - don't give up. God does have something planned.