The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.
Finding our way in life often means giving up control. Why do we even want to control situations? It's very simple. It's because we want to dictate every single outcome. I used to try and control every situation I could - my kids, husband, work, friends, everything. Many of you know I'm a programmer and so my life was a long if statement something like this...
If this happens then I'll do this
Else, I need to check this now
Well, now I have to check for this and this and this.
OK, I planned for all three of those situations and none happened so now I have to check for this and this and this and this otherwise...
While it might seem funny - the truth is this type of thinking leads to a life that is way out of control. I was trying to control and plan for everything - why?? So I wouldn't get hurt anymore. But what I really was doing was God's job.
A very good friend called me on the carpet one day about this type of thinking. I was going through Celebrate Recovery at the time and I thought as part of "healing from being hurt by another" that I needed to plan to protect myself. This dear friend asked me point blank "What are you trying to accomplish by controlling everyone and everything?" What??? Could others see right through me? Is that what I was doing? And that's when I finally got the hint. Here I was trying to heal from the hurts of my life, but what I ended up doing was trying to control every situation so that I wouldn't get hurt again. But what an exhausting life to lead. And honestly - it was an epic FAIL!
Now I'm learning to deal with situations in a prayful way. Instead of my trying to plan for every outcome..I'm asking God to take it all and this is a hard for me to let go, but I have to trust God. What really made me understand the truth to this entire way of life was when I heard at a meeting that if I try to control life - I'm not letting God be in control and that he promises to have good things in store for me.
If you are like me and need to control every little outcome, let go. At least let one thing go today. And tomorrow two things. And so on. The more I "let God", the more I'm letting God be in control of my life. And finally, I have peace about it.
But here is the catch...you must trust that His ways are better than your or mine. If we are to really believe and have faith - then when "things" in life don't go the way we want them to, or we don't get what we think we ought to have or deserve .. we must trust in His ways. When we can accept and believe that, then we are winning the battle.